I scroll through the photos on my phone looking for ones I’ve taken long ago.
When that part of me I still am today was alive without the weight I now carry.
I can’t believe how far I have to go.
I scroll and scroll and scroll.
To find that time.
The pictures flash by like wheels in a slot machine.
Signaling where I was and what I was doing then.
When they finally released your remains.
And then long before that when you were first found.
When law enforcement escorted me to what I now call your grave.
Screenshots of conversations from people I didn’t know if I could trust.
The saving of old photos taken of you.
Before the mortuary turned your bones to dust.
I hate the number of pictures I’ve taken since you’ve been gone.
The amount of life I’ve lived since yours was scrubbed from this earthly plane.
They serve as proof that the world can still spin on its axis without your feet planted here.
It’s this fact I hate above all else—that the world can go on without the one I loved most.
Remember the Birds 
That the world can go on without the one I love the most. I totally understand that Liz. My sentiments exactly.
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I am both comforted and saddened by your ability to relate. 🫂 Thanks for reading ❤️
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Such a sweet little guy. Brings a tear Well said. Beautifully expressed. 🤗❤️
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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Thanks so much for reading Marianne ❤️
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Beautifully written, thank you for sharing. Photographs are so evocative and the passing of time brought into sharp relief as we go forwards, and those we have loved do not.
Sending you lots of love xxx
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Thank you Tracy! I appreciate you taking the time to read and for your kind words.
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I am a mother of four daughters. I could not imagine the pain of losing my child to a situation that should never have happened. But to live with that pain and to never truly know the answers and the corruption that is police! I am so so sorry. The baby photo of him killed me 😢! Such an innocent and pure soul. Just like how he was helpfully before he passed thinking of others ! If i had one wish, id wish that you would get just one day with him to get the answers you deserve and that closure!
i am deeply deeply sorry, my heart breaks for you mama but NEVER GIVE UP THAT FIGHT❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you so much for reaching out to me! There is no love like a mother’s love… as I’m sure you know! I too wish that I find the answers so that my mind can piece it all together. Sending you and your four girls tons of love. Liz
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As someone who is raising a 1.5 year old, I am WEEPING for you. My heart can’t fathom this loss, I know deeply how much care you have poured into raising this precious little human and for you to reach that goalpost where he’s grown into a kind and interesting adult, someone who is an asset to the world, who is doing things with his life and time. This is every mom’s dream. And then to have it taken away so cruelly and so utterly senselessly. The tears just aren’t stopping and the lump in my throat feels like a stone. The sages say that life is a dream that we wake up from and even though it all felt so real we take the lessons and carry on our merry way with our soul group. This is what I choose to believe – that you and josiah will be back together when this dream is done. I hope you continue to make the most of it, living as fully as you can so you have stories to take back to him. I will be thinking of you both and hope my prayers for your family are heard by the universe and the stars.
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Thank you so much and I agree with everything you said above. I am living my biggest and best life here on this earth. I am also so grateful that my path has crossed others who choose to do the same. Thank you for taking the time to read, listen and connect. Sending you tons of love, Liz
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